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Don’t touch me.

Seriously. Don’t. I don’t like being touched. Creeps me out. It has nothing to do with germs or phobias or anything like that. Chances are, I just don’t like you. Well, not you personally, but the things you do by existing. You might ‘snurf’ when you breathe, or your jaw clicks when you speak, or you’re always smacking gum. I can’t stand those things and I don’t want you standing over my damn shoulder doing them.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line I just quit liking you people. Too much time wasted with folks who smelled funny or had bad taste or who were just plain weird. Respect my personal space and stay a good 5 to 10 feet away from me at all times. Don’t be offended if I don’t shake your hand, I’m not a fan of handshaking. It’s forced familiarity. Until I know you better, don’t assume you have a right to touch me and don’t ever let me hear you drop my name, Reader, into the middle of a sentence. Sounds like a salesman and I despise those guys.

And one more thing, don’t ever try and do the fist bump, I really hate that. Stupid macho posturing. I’ve seen too many middle aged guys trying to butch up their golf game by doing the ‘bump’ after sinking a putt. You hold out a fist to me and I’ll punch you right in the eye. Swear to God.

Now, do we have an understanding? Good. Because I'm really a people person at heart and I'd hate for any of the above to get in the way of us getting to know each other better.

Posts From Stephe
One Year (sing it in your head to BNLs One Week)
Tuesday, August 20, 2019, 5:31 PM :: 186 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe starts to deal with some shit in the only way he knows how.  Deflection.  And a song. #pacemaker #barenakedladies #oneweek
Funko Rant: My Top Ten What The F**ks
Thursday, June 6, 2019, 8:39 PM :: 378 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe talks about his deepest regrets.  Too bad it's not that deep or regretful.  #Funko #Freddy #WTF
The Sale of 100 Things: Collecting Happiness
Sunday, February 10, 2019, 8:56 PM :: 454 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe collects his thoughts on collecting. #funko #StarWars #M&M #Devil #poppsychology
The Sale of 100 Things: Not Getting Out Of The Game
Wednesday, December 5, 2018, 10:15 PM :: 572 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe closes out the year with an update on his garage sale.  Does he make money? #funko #Enterprise #kidrobot
The Sale of 100 Things: Mushroom Mining
Sunday, September 30, 2018, 5:57 PM :: 804 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe blathers on about his online garage sale.  #Funko #100things #Dorbz #SGA #Pops 
Funko Rant: To All The PEZ I've Loved Before
Sunday, September 9, 2018, 7:29 PM :: 1419 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe starts a new obsession on the wrong foot and tries to take the other out of his mouth. PEZ baby! #Funko #Pez
The Sale of 100 Things: First Things First
Thursday, August 30, 2018, 11:44 PM :: 778 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe tries to clean house and shares some thoughts on Dorbz and Box Damage. #Funko #Dorbz #Freddy #MysteryMini #Pops #Mickey #Deadpool
The Sale of 100 Things
Wednesday, August 22, 2018, 2:53 PM :: 1048 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe plans a material cleanse of his hoarder aura.  This could be fun #funko #lego #hoarder #hornswoggle
Funko Rant: Best Fundays Ever
Sunday, August 12, 2018, 11:13 PM :: 861 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe reviews Fundays 2018.  We think he liked it. #Funko #Fundays #Freddy #prom
Armas Ad Astra: SPACE FORCE
Wednesday, July 4, 2018, 9:54 AM :: 1054 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe does his part for Dog and Country and helps recruit for Space Force!  Armas Ad Astra, amigos.  Joint the mission! #space #spaceforce #jointhemission
See All Articles From Stephe