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Don’t touch me.

Seriously. Don’t. I don’t like being touched. Creeps me out. It has nothing to do with germs or phobias or anything like that. Chances are, I just don’t like you. Well, not you personally, but the things you do by existing. You might ‘snurf’ when you breathe, or your jaw clicks when you speak, or you’re always smacking gum. I can’t stand those things and I don’t want you standing over my damn shoulder doing them.

I'm not sure when, but somewhere along the line I just quit liking you people. Too much time wasted with folks who smelled funny or had bad taste or who were just plain weird. Respect my personal space and stay a good 5 to 10 feet away from me at all times. Don’t be offended if I don’t shake your hand, I’m not a fan of handshaking. It’s forced familiarity. Until I know you better, don’t assume you have a right to touch me and don’t ever let me hear you drop my name, Reader, into the middle of a sentence. Sounds like a salesman and I despise those guys.

And one more thing, don’t ever try and do the fist bump, I really hate that. Stupid macho posturing. I’ve seen too many middle aged guys trying to butch up their golf game by doing the ‘bump’ after sinking a putt. You hold out a fist to me and I’ll punch you right in the eye. Swear to God.

Now, do we have an understanding? Good. Because I'm really a people person at heart and I'd hate for any of the above to get in the way of us getting to know each other better.

Posts From Stephe
Funko Rant: Best Fundays Ever
Sunday, August 12, 2018, 11:13 PM :: 94 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe reviews Fundays 2018.  We think he liked it. #Funko #Fundays #Freddy #prom
Armas Ad Astra: SPACE FORCE
Wednesday, July 4, 2018, 9:54 AM :: 182 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
Stephe does his part for Dog and Country and helps recruit for Space Force!  Armas Ad Astra, amigos.  Joint the mission! #space #spaceforce #jointhemission
Funko Review: Making Fun - The Story of Funko
Sunday, June 3, 2018, 11:04 PM :: 294 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Movies
Stephe reviews 'Making Fun: The Story of Funko' because he's got an opinion too.  And he could have been a contender. #funko, #MakingFun
Funko Rant: Everything is Grail
Friday, May 4, 2018, 4:30 PM :: 612 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Gonzo
What is your quest?  We seek the Holy Grail!  ARRRRGGGGHHHHH #Funko #FunkoRant #Grail #Pops
Funko Rant - How Much Is That Proto In The Window
Friday, March 23, 2018, 11:03 PM :: 333 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe is back from the stroke (the bad kind) and has a few thoughts left to articulate.  #Funko #funkorant #protos
Funko Rant - True Collectors
Sunday, February 25, 2018, 11:28 AM :: 413 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe's first post since the stroke on being a 'true collector' of Funko.  Totally germane, correctly spelled and punctuated, too. #Funko #FunkoRant #TrueCollector #Flippers
SNL: Let's Do That Hockey!!
Monday, January 29, 2018, 10:56 PM :: 398 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Sports
There are three kinds of people who watch (or don’t watch)  Saturday Night Live. First are the haters.  They never think it’s funny.  Never was. Never will be.  Cancel...
Toy Review: Mighty Muggs, Third Time's a Charm
Friday, January 12, 2018, 2:44 PM :: 605 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe takes a break from Funko and revisits an old flame.  #Hasbro #Funko #MightyMuggs #Spiderman
Funko Rant - How to ship a Pop!
Monday, December 4, 2017, 10:54 PM :: 1152 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Lifestyle
Stephe tries to help a brother out.  Free advices!  #Funko #funkopop #pop #dorbz #shipping
Redshirt - A Star Trek Nursery Rhyme
Monday, November 20, 2017, 12:32 PM :: 584 Views :: Article Rating :: Posted In Entertainment
I was dreaming when I wrote this.  Forgive me if it goes astray.  #StarTrek #RedShirt #expendable
See All Articles From Stephe