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Gonzogeek's Pigskin Picks: WEEK SEVENTEEN

As the year 2012 comes to a close, so does the NFL’s regular season. As does the inaugural “Gonzogeek Pigskin Picks”.  And what better way to end this thing thanwith it being determined by the final week. That’s right, folks. You guessed it. We have a tie twixt myself and The Mayor of Parts Unknown. We stood atop the leaderboard with a tie at the end of week one, and now, here we are in the same position after week sixteen. 151 to 151. Stephe has 145.5 which means he’s locked up third place, but Bruce and Chris are still in a fierce war for last place. A single point separates someone from being our first LOSER! A world filled with participation ribbons and Upword basketball teaches us that “There’s no such things as winners and losers….” BLOW ME! All that does is promote mediocrity. THERE WILL BE A LOSER! If I have to throw them into a pit filled with pointy objects and lions, there will be a loser!

 

SPOTLIGHT GAME: DALLAS COWBOYS VS. WASHINGTON REDSKINS

HUNTER: We started the season with a Cowboys game. A game in which they showed plenty of potential by trouncing the recent Super BowlChampion New York Football Giants. We end the season with those same Cowboystaking on their mortal enemies in the Redskins. It’s LITERALLY Cowboys andIndians battling it out for the final playoff spot in the NFL. This is the definition of a spotlight game. The NFL even MOVED IT TO SUNDAY NIGHT TO PUT ITIN THE SPOTLIGHT! After that first win, the Cowboys have floundered around looking for an identity. The Redskins have their identity. Its name is RG3. The kid cements his rookie year with a win over Tony Can’t-get-it-done-in-big-games-o. PICK: REDSKINS

BRUCE: I've picked against the Cowboys all year. This is exactly the spot you DON'T want to be in with Tony Romo as your QB. He doesn't handle pressure well and the Cowboys' playoff hopes are all on the line. Pressure much? MUWAHAHAHAHA! PICK: REDSKINS

STEPHE:  I picked Dallas at home and they got stomped on Thanksgiving. I'll probably get this one wrong, too. PICK: REDSKINS

CHRIS: So, Jerry’s (not so) merry bunch of underachievin and/or over-rated dipsticks gets the table set perfectly to once again do what they do very best: fail. On the road. In DC. Playing the Redskins. What could be sweeter? And though these are indeed the moments I dream about, I’m pretty sure I’ve got this one right. The Cowboys won’t be able to handle the Alfred Morris/pistol offense combo. Romo will lead a furious almost-comeback before imploding, and the ‘Skins will win their seventh straight on their way to an NFC championship game meeting with the Seahawks. Well, that last part might still be a tiny stretch, but they will beat the Cowboys. PICK: Redskins

MAYOR: This week's featured game is the NFL equivalent of a grudge match. I can get behind that. Why, the rivalry between Dallas and Washington is just like the great wrestling feuds of yore. The Midnight Express against the Rock & Roll Express! Austin vs McMahon! Flair vs Steamboat! The American Males (EDITOR’S NOTE: American Males. American Males. American Males.)against the Blue Bloods! Er.... aaaanyway, the MES suggests the Cowboys win just as they did in real life. No doubt they'll do so the same way the West was won. By sending the indigenous people blankets infested with cholera. Merry Plaguemas. Ho ho ho. PICK: COWBOYS by manifest destiny

REST OF THE PICKS

TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS VS. ATLANTA FALCONS

HUNTER: FALCONS

BRUCE: FALCONS

STEPHE: FALCONS

CHRIS: BUCS

MAYOR: BUCS by plunder

NEW YORK JETS VS. BUFFALO BILLS

HUNTER: BILLS

BRUCE: JETS

STEPHE: JETS

CHRIS: BILLS

MAYOR:  BILLS by stampede

BALTIMORE RAVENS VS. CINCINNATI BENGALS

HUNTER: RAVENS

BRUCE: BENGALS

STEPHE: RAVENS

CHRIS: RAVENS

MAYOR: BENGALS bydevouring

CHICAGO BEARS VS. DETROIT LIONS

HUNTER: BEARS

BRUCE: LIONS

STEPHE: BEARS

CHRIS: BEARS

MAYOR: LIONS viaforfeit (those Bears are hibernating by now, don't ya know)

HOUSTON TEXANS VS. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

HUNTER: TEXANS

BRUCE: The Texans,after 10 long years of frustration, hold their playoff destiny in their hands.Peyton isn't on the other side of the ball, but he is breathing down theirnecks. TEXANS

STEPHE: TEXANS

CHRIS: TEXANS

MAYOR: TEXANS bysaddling

CAROLINA PANTHERS VS. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS

HUNTER: SAINTS

BRUCE: SAINTS

STEPHE: SAINTS

CHRIS: SAINTS

MAYOR: SAINTS bymarching

PHILADELPHIA EAGLES VS. NEW YORK GIANTS

HUNTER: GIANTS

BRUCE: GIANTS

STEPHE: GIANTS

CHRIS: GIANTS

MAYOR:  EAGLES by bird flu in an upset!

CLEVELAND BROWNS VS. PITTSBURGH STEELERS

HUNTER: STEELERS

BRUCE: STEELERS

STEPHE: STEELERS

CHRIS: STEELERS

MAYOR: STEELERS bysmelting

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS VS. TENNESSEE TITANS

HUNTER: TITANS

BRUCE: JAGUARS

STEPHE: TITANS

CHRIS: TITANS

MAYOR:  TITANS by remembrance

KANSAS CITY CHIEFS VS. DENVER BRONCOS

HUNTER: BRONCOS

BRUCE: I want tohate Peyton Manning, but damn this is one helluva movie. BRONCOS

STEPHE: BRONCOS

CHRIS: BRONCOS

MAYOR:  BRONCOS by bucking

GREEN BAY PACKERS VS. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

HUNTER: PACKERS

BRUCE: PACKERS

STEPHE: PACKERS

CHRIS: PACKERS

MAYOR:  VIKINGS by... you guessed it... berzerkery 

MIAMI DOLPHINS VS. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

HUNTER: PATRIOTS

BRUCE: PATRIOTS

STEPHE: DOLPHINS

CHRIS: PATRIOTS

MAYOR: PATRIOTS bytea party (not the awful current political group. The actual tea party. Yes,New England's players will actually dress as Indians and throw tea into theharbor. Perchance Brady will wear his man-Uggs for the occasion)

OAKLAND RAIDERS VS. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS

HUNTER: CHARGERS

BRUCE: CHARGERS

STEPHE: CHARGERS

CHRIS: CHARGERS

MAYOR: CHARGERS byfrontal assault

ST. LOUIS RAMS VS. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS

HUNTER: SEAHAWKS

BRUCE: SEAHAWKS

STEPHE: SEAHAWKS

CHRIS: SEAHAWKS

MAYOR: RAMS byheadbuttery

ARIZONA CARDINALS VS. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS

HUNTER: NINERS

BRUCE: NINERS

STEPHE: NINERS

CHRIS: NINERS

MAYOR: NINERS byprospectin'

Posted in: Sports
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