We're going to do something a little different today.
Today we're going to dust off the old GonzoGeek Time Machine. We haven't done it in a while, but today we find ourselves in need of its services.
Set the chronometer for any late Friday night in 1981 and we're ready to begin our journey.
It was a simpler time. There was no internet, no iDevices, very few personal computers and no Real Housewives
Our ability to entertain ourselves was confined to our imaginations, a few movies and 3 broadcast television stations. Four if you got PBS.
Of course, if we land where I think we will, we will find ourselves entertained by a very nascent technology known as cable television.
We won't find Anderson Cooper, Honey Boo Boo or Jon Stewart.
Instead we'll find Commander USA
, The Hitchhiker
and, if we're lucky, John Byner
Of course, this late at night we might also find, if we tune the vertical hold just so, this week's cheesecake.
Please say hello to Sylvia Kristel.
Ms. Kristel is most famous/notorious for her work in the seminal softcore Emmanuelle
movie series. The French actress played the lead in four of the seven films and, in doing so, embedded herself into the pubescent consciousness of the male populace of the early 80s.
Ms. Kristel's movies ran in those taboo late night slots on HBO and Showtime. They often came in through a cloud of static and snow. It was from such humble beginnings that an entire generation of cable guys was born.
In addition to her work in the Emmanuelles
, Ms. Kristel also starred in such fare as Lady Chatterley's Lover
and Mata Hari
Along with Phoebe Cates and Bo Derek, Ms. Kristel jump started a whole lot of Gen X puberty. Any guy between 52 and 30 who tells you he doesn't know who she is is, as our friend Rey Swanko would say, a liar.
Mainstream success largely evaded her, but she is semi-famously remembered for roles in the Get Smart
revival, The Nude Bomb
, and more famously for her role in Private Lessons
Ms. Kristel died yesterday after a long bout with lung and esophageal cancer.
Thanks for the memories.
Let's hit the links.
NFL QB Facebook thread
Oderus Urungus and Dez Fafara interview each other
The belly of the Internet Beast: Reddit’s Violentacrez outed
A peek into the real story of Argo
Ukraine’s live Anime Girl and Real Barbie meet face-to-eerie-face.
Aaron Rodgers pwns Shannon Sharpe
The most ballin’ iPhone 5 case ever
Big Business – LIVE! – Hellfest 2012
Tony Royster Jr. drum solo
Inside Google’s data centers
The D.I.Y. moral compass…and you
Famous old masters paintings with all the people removed
The five worst Justice Leaguers.
This supercut proves that EVERYONE has been on Law & Order at some point.
The 50 best films of the 90s.
Stan Lee Media sues Disney for the Marvel Characters.
Some more women Esquire loves this year.
Two weeks in, here's a look at some of the differences between DC's Green Arrow and CW's Arrow.
And finally, the YouTube Hall of Walken.