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Gonzogeek's Pigskin Picks: WEEK SEVEN

Does anybody remember last week when I talked about how the current NFL season didn’t make sense (and the week before that [and that {and that <and that>}])? That particular sentiment reached its apex this week.Collectively, week six of the NFL season was Gonzogeek’s worst week of prognosticating. The site averaged merely 5 points apiece with Bruce pulling in the worst score yet for a GGer (a whopping 3 that beat out my 4 points from week two). The second you think you have an understanding on this season, you get smacked in the face with an upset or two…or five. Some interesting facts about the season thus far? Usual laughing stock division, the NFC West, has more teams with winning records than the entirety of the AFC. Twenty-three of the 32 teams in the league are at .500 or LESS! The undefeated teams were cut in half last week after the usually dominant Texans got TROUNCED by a Packers team that had been lackluster through the first five weeks. The other undefeated team, the Falcons, only managed to beat the abysmal Raiders with a last second field goal. What is happening? I know that the league has always prided itself on parity, but this is getting a bit ridiculous. Equality is onet hing, but this is bordering on, dare I say, mediocrity.

After Hell Week, our scores got as wibbly wobbly as the rest of the league’s standings. The Mayor of Parts Unknown still has first place with 53, but his lead has dwindled as Stephe moved ever closer with the week best seven points, putting him only 2.5 points behind at 50.5. I’m still in third with 48 points, but things are getting interesting at the bottom. Chris has begun to surge as Bruce floundered in week six. Bruce’s 44 points now put him in danger of being overtaken by Chris’s 42. Could this be the week that Chris moves into fourth place, or will all holy balls break loose again? At least the insanity is making the league must see TV every week.

SPOTLIGHT GAME:BALTIMORE RAVENS VS. HOUSTON TEXANS

HUNTER: The aforementioned winning records in the AFC belongto these two teams. That’s right! Only TWO teams in the AFC have winning records. The previously undefeated Texans got demoralized on Sunday night against the Packers, but the Ravens got hit harder when they lost their spiritual leader, Ray Lewis, for the season. The Ravens D has given up 200+yards on the ground two weeks in a row for the first time in franchise history, and the loss of Lewis, the team’s leading tackler, won’t help slow down Arian Foster and the sixth ranked rushing offense in the league. PICK: TEXANS

BRUCE: The Texans got exposed on Sunday night. The Ravens lost some big names last week. This one has lost some luster, but still looks like a possible AFC title pre-match. I think the Ravens' losses outweigh the Texans' deficiencies. PICK: TEXANS

STEPHE: TEXANS

CHRIS: I very much want the Texans to win this game, and with the Ravens defense as battered as it is, I think there’s a good chance they will. But Houston’s defense was itself exposed against Green Bay. And their offensive line looked pretty naked as well. And then I look at the “skill players” on offense [linemen have skills most people could not even fathom, much less duplicate] and, for right now anyway, have to give the edge to Flacco/Rice/Boldin/Smith over Schaub/Foster/Johnson/Daniels. PICK: RAVENS

MAYOR: I'm told this week's game features the Texans and the Ravens. This is a tough one for the ol' MES. Anytime you've got two teams from different ends of the country going head to head, you've got bragging rights. I'll go with the team with the greater wrestling legacy. Von Erichs reign supreme! TEXANS by the Von Erich claw

REST OF THE PICKS

SEATTLE SEAHAWKS VS. SAN FRANCISO 49ERS

HUNTER: 49ERS

BRUCE: 49ERS

STEPHE: 49ERS

CHRIS: 49ERS

MAYOR: NINERS by prospecting

TENNESSEE TITANS VS. BUFFALO BILLS

HUNTER: TITANS

BRUCE: Hunter will be pleased to see me pick his Titans in this train wreck matchup. TITANS

STEPHE: BILLS

CHRIS: BILLS

MAYOR: TITANS by conquest

DALLAS COWBOYS VS. CAROLINA PANTHERS

HUNTER: COWBOYS

BRUCE: PANTHERS

STEPHE: COWBOYS

CHRIS: COWBOYS

MAYOR: COWBOYS by opposable thumbs and firearms

CLEVELAND BROWNS VS. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS

HUNTER: COLTS

BRUCE: COLTS

STEPHE: COLTS

CHRIS: COLTS

MAYOR: COLTS by a kick in the head

ARIZONA CARDINALS VS. MINNESOTA VIKINGS

HUNTER: This is a rebound game for both teams after disappointing losses last week. This week we find out which team is legit and which is just Cinderella waiting for the clock to hit twelve. It’s midnight for the Cards. VIKINGS

BRUCE: A pair of pretty evenly matched team. I'm picking Minnesota based soley on their greater number of net points. If this strategy works you can expect to see it more in the future. VIKINGS

STEPHE: CARDINALS

CHRIS: VIKINGS

MAYOR: VIKINGS by berzerkery and mead drinking

WASHINGTON REDSKINS VS. NEW YORK GIANTS

HUNTER: GIANTS

BRUCE: GIANTS

STEPHE: GIANTS

CHRIS: GIANTS

MAYOR: GIANTS by fee fi fo (unfortunately the spread is fee fi fo fum)

GREEN BAY PACKERS VS. ST. LOUIS RAMS

HUNTER: PACKERS

BRUCE: PACKERS

STEPHE: PACKERS

CHRIS: PACKERS

MAYOR: RAMS by head buttery

NEW ORLEANS SAINTS VS. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS

HUNTER: SAINTS

BRUCE: SAINTS

STEPHE: SAINTS

CHRIS: SAINTS

MAYOR: BUCS by shivered timbers

NEW YORK JETS VS. NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS

HUNTER: PATRIOTS

BRUCE: PATRIOTS

STEPHE: JETS

CHRIS: PATRIOTS

MAYOR: JETS by air travel

JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS  VS. OAKLAND RAIDERS

HUNTER: RAIDERS

BRUCE: RAIDERS

STEPHE: RAIDERS

CHRIS: RAIDERS

MAYOR: RAIDERS by pillage

PITTSBURGH STEELERS VS. CINCINNATI BENGALS

HUNTER: STEELERS

BRUCE: STEELERS

STEPHE: BENGALS

CHRIS: BENGALS

MAYOR: BENGALS by devouring

DETROIT LIONS VS. CHICAGO BEARS

HUNTER: BEARS

BRUCE: Two cities named in the Grateful Dead classic"Truckin'." That has nothing to do with the game, just a fun factoid. BEARS

STEPHE: BEARS

CHRIS: How the hell are the Bears 4-1 anyway? Talk about under the radar! LIONS

MAYOR: BEARS by mauling

Posted in: Sports
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