Let's just call a spade a spade.
The Oscars sucked.
They were too long. They were too predictable. They just weren't any fun.
That does not mean we won't be making picks to try to drive traffic next year.
I just hope the Academy breaks up with itself so we can have a post-breakup award show, all snarky eye rolls and weird sexual tension.
That's not to say this year's ceremony wasn't without some high points. "Man or a Muppet" won for best original song. Dean Pelton won an Oscar for co-scripting The Descendants
(take that Jeff Winger). Jennifer Lopez took on Cameron Diaz in an ass-off. And my personal favorite, the oblique shout-out to Superbad
between Emma Stone and Jonah Hill.
Still, the most talked about moment was when Angelina Jolie stuck her leg out of the slit in her dress and exposed a LOT
of leg. Now had this been someone not known for her willingness to be naked on film this would have been a huge deal. Still, to hear the press going on about it, you'd have thought Angelina was best known for wearing prairie skirts and turtlenecks.
Of course, I think its just a case of trying to keep up with the Joneses, or in the case of the Jolie-Pitts, the Clooneys.
Because as good as Angelina looked, she didn't hold a candle to this week's cheesecake. Please say hello to the possible-future-ex-Mrs. Clooney, Stacey Keibler.
Word on the street is that Angelina is not a fan of George's new paramour
. (insert obligatory Joey Styles CATFIGHT
! here) I'm pretty sure Ms. Keibler doesn't care. By essentially doing what she has been doing since the late 90s, walking down the aisle on the arms of a more famous dude, she has raised her celebrity stock exponentially.
Sure Clooney is a huge step up from David Flair and the Dudley Boys. Nor is Clooney likely to snap from roid rage like Scott Steiner. However, I can't be sure Clooney won't ask her to dress up like a superhero at the villa in Italy.
I'm largely preaching to the choir here, as Ms. Keibler's first claim to fame was as a diva in WCW and the WWE. What was unique about Ms. Keibler was that, in an era of company "recommended" augmentation, Ms. Keibler was immune.
How you might ask?
Take a look at that picture up top.
Ms. Keibler's claim to fame was her pins. She had/has legs for days that made her ring entrances a sight to behold.
After leaving the sports entertainment industry, Ms. Keibler put those stems to use in the classic bid for extending her fame as she went on to place third in the second season of Dancing with the Stars
Damn you Drew Lachey!
Since then she made numerous guest appearances on television as she attempted to establish her acting career.
Then, late last year, she went back to her roots. She dolled up, grabbed an arm and started walking the aisle.
And that made all the boys in geekland ever so happy.
On to the links.
Rick Santorum vs. heavy metal lyrics – FUN QUIZ!
John Peel’s record collection goes digital
Monsanto, the real Iraq victor
Jean-Luc Godard footage from the Stones ‘Sympathy For The Devil’ studio sessions.
Large naked woman stomps on car [NSFW]
JuggaloBook social network.
Oscar, Grammy, Super Bowl Humble Brag Top 10
Anonymous and WikiLeaks join forces.
Interview: John Baizley of Baroness
‘Making the Movie: The Making of Movie: The Movie’
Eyehategod – LIVE! – A389 VIII Bash, Baltimore (full set), Jan. 21, 2012
Handicapping band reunions
SNL musical guests need more cowbell
Your guide to the new hipster cities
Romney accepts the nomination
And finally, a little appetizer to March Madness with the finish of a regional high school hoops game. Win or go home.