The season of holy babies brings out the humor in all of us. Well, all of us who aren’t too busy bitching continuously about it anyway. Please enjoy my 10 favorite tweets from Christmas 2011: some multimedia, some straight, some definitely funny, but all delivering the holiday goods.
10. Saying Merry Christmas as obsequiously and often as possible this year. It's more fun now that we're not supposed to! @MetalJibbies
9. Apparently that miserable fuck Brockie got on here and made some mushy comments about xmas...he has been punished severely! @TheRealOderus
8. Merry Christmas! Love, Melvins http://fb.me/BraA0PrW @melvinsdotcom
7. New Year's Day falls on a Sunday this year. U2 must be locked in a daisy chain of celebratory dick-sucking. @PattonOswalt
6. Satanic Gingerbread Man Cookie jar? http://pic.twitter.com/UhgKIYI6 @mrsevilriver
5. Although not Christian and with no mistletoe in our home at XMAS, as a kid, I somehow convinced my parents to at least install gallows. @TheRichardLewis
4. The first 7 days are birds & some jewelry. Days 8 through 12 the person is clearly receiving slaves as gifts.
3. Holidays are strange. In theory we should celebrate every day, but in practice Holidays seem to work. We agree to enjoy ourselves for a day @JoeRogan
2. in the meadow, Satan, as a preacher/we're compelled to call him "Parson Brown"/he says "are you married?" then all rhymes end/forever @mountain_goats
1. If your asshole hurts on Sunday morning, Santa came. @JennyJohnsonHi5