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The Sale of 100 Things: Mushroom Mining

The Sale of 10 Things has reached a milestone of sorts.  I just tried to sell my 100th Thing.

And failed. 

In fact, I’m about 40 short.

While a little disappointed, I’m actually doing as well as I thought I would at this point.  Funko pops sell well, everything else Funko does not.  I mentioned that Dorbz got a bad rap.  Most Funko collectors act like owning a Dorbz will devalue the rest of their toys.  Well, add Hikari to that list of ‘collection taints’.   Both are pretty much poison on a stick. Even when someone wishes you ‘GLWS’ (good luck with sale), you know they typed it with pity in their hearts.  

I write this as if Funko is all I’m selling.  While it is primarily what’s going out the door, it’s not all 100 Things.  For example, I did very well with SGA (stadium giveaway) bobbleheads in Waves 2 and 3.  I’ve sold them before, they always sell.  My family has a season ticket package to the Royals so we often end up with multiples of things we only need one of, sometimes none of.  Priced right, these last a couple of days on Ebay.  I’m glad they do because I don’t really like them.  I do like bobbleheads, which is how I got into Funko, but I don’t like the resin player bobbleheads they do for SGAs.  They’re too heavy, too fragile, and all too often, look nothing like the player they’re supposed to be.  And the paint jobs are usually crap, although that might be a little harsh.  Let’s leave it at ‘doo-doo’.  As a Funko collector, I’ve always wished that Funko made SGAs.  And if not Funko, then someone else who makes bobbleheads out of plastic.  Anyone that can nail a likeness, really.  I have SGAs that you can’t tell who they are without the number on the jersey, and one that doesn’t have a number on the jersey so you don’t know who the f**k it is without the box.  They all look like they’re puffed up on prednisone.  That has got to stop.

But I should be careful with what I wish for.  Funko has started making SGAs (finally).  I thought they were going to get into it a couple years ago when they released an MLB series of mascots.  Didn’t know that Seattle or Houston had character mascots.  Or the Reds, but whatever.  They didn’t sell well enough for a second series and so I considered my hopes officially ‘dashed’.  Then they did an SGA with the San Francisco Giants a couple seasons ago and my hopes were back on.  However, it wasn’t a player, but a character repaint, Woody from Toy Story in Orange and Black (which he nearly already is).  Getting closer to the Promised Land, but still not there. Then they did King Felix for the Mariners last season.  Taa daa!  Wish granted!!  However, in typical Funko style, they added a small edition variant, and a really limited edition chase figure.  Goddamn you Funko.  Just can’t help yourself, can you?   

They’ve since done several more player pop SGA’s.  I had the King Felix, it was nicely done.  Now, because it’s a pop, the likeness really depends on you knowing what the player would look like if his head was a balloon.  I prefer to think it’s more like a throw-back to those generic, kewpie doll looking sports bobbleheads of the past.  At least that’s what I told myself when I briefly considered collecting Pop SGAs.  I have since given up on that quest because Funko collectors got involved.  Even though they don’t know dick about ‘sportsball’, they know all about limited editions.  Based on hope, greed, and arcane equivalency divinations, they’ve driven up the prices on the smaller, subset editions to the point of ridiculum.  Sure… a couple grand for a 24 piece Nelson Cruz Pop is acceptable because…why not.  It’s a 24 piece edition, duh.  I mean, really.  A Clockwork Orange was 24 pieces and someone paid over 10 grand for it.  Nelson isn’t all that up for the ultra-violence so he won’t cost as much you stupid droog.  The most recent Pop SGA is Ken Griffey, Jr..  The gold, 24-piece editions will probably sell in the thousands.  I’d rather have his rookie card.  It might be cheaper.

(BTW Funko, when are you going to do one of the Royals?)

My one big surprise so far has been Disney.  I used to work in an animation art gallery.  I had friends who worked for the Disney stores.  I have (had, now) some Disney collectibles.  A couple of the items that I thought would do well (make some money) were WDCC figurines.  Back in the day, and I can say that because these are 20 year old pieces, WDCC’s were a ‘hot’ collectible.  Maybe hot isn’t the right word, but they were higher end porcelain figures -think Hummel, but cooler- and they sold well at retail.  There was a lot of excitement when they came out because animation art was very popular at the time and these were very faithful to the source material and nowhere near as expensive as original art.  I had several early releases. They were highly sought after back in the day.  I was pretty sure I’d make a couple of bucks.

I was so very, very wrong.

The Animator’s Choice, WDCC members only Mickey as the Brave Little Tailor, with the first year steamboat wheel stamp on the bottom that USED to be worth upwards of 250 dollars…I sold for 20 bucks.  Time has not been kind to these.  In the intervening years, Disney has licensed all kinds of reproductions in a variety of formats.  This piece is no longer special.  I knew I wouldn't get 250, but I thought I’d clear maybe 75-100 bucks, I mean, steamboat wheel, c’mon.  Nope.  20 dollars.  It sold for the same amount as a dancing mushroom from Fantasia. A MUSHROOM!  I get it, times and tastes change, but a mushroom?  Talk about a metaphor.  I was clearly in the dark and sitting on a pile of shit.  If any of you are collecting a bunch of junk, thinking that you’re leaving your grandkids a small fortune, think again.  Mushrooms, baby.  You’re leaving them a boatload of crap. 

Not wanting to end on downer, I am proud to announce that I did win a bet last week.  I wagered that I WOULD sell about 12 years’ worth of magnetic baseball schedules, you know, the one’s they give out on opening day.  It was a ‘proof of concept’ bet, the concept being that there is a collector for everything.  They could have been a Royals fan, a magnet fan.  A fan of calendars and/or schedules.  At the very least I was betting on a hoarder with broadband.  It was a fairly low stakes bet.  I mean, if I won, they would be sold, if I lost, I would still have them. It took a little longer than I thought but in the end I did win, and with it the spoils.  Mainly bragging rights that I was right and everyone else was wrong.  So there.  Phblbblltthhht!  

I now know that the Sale of 100 Things will be end up being the Sale of 100’s of Things as getting rid of one thing inevitably leads to getting rid of lots of things.  It’s kind of weird, as cleaning the basement has me thinking about why I collect the things that I do and why is it easier to get rid of some things and not others.  I’m not sure it’s deep, revelatory psycho-crap, but really, why is it that I can I sell the rest of my childhood but not Baron Karza (Micronauts)?  Maybe I’ll discuss it later.  Like maybe when I change the logo.    

In the meantime, I have mushrooms to mine.  Hopefully they’re morel.


Posted in: Gonzo
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