I loved watching big dumb monster movies when I was a kid.
I started watching them on a Friday Night Creature feature on a deep UHF channel on Friday nights. Since then I've seen vampires, mummies, summer camp slashers, killer clowns, flying metal balls and, scariest of all, Johnny Depp as Willy Wonka.
But I kid.
I was never a big fan of swimming. Couldn't see without my glasses. Jaws sealed that deal for me. Never mind that I couldn't see. You're telling me there's a giant shark down there somewhere and I can't see him.
I'll be waiting on the beach...or in the car...or better yet, I'll just stay home.
What do my childhood phobias have to do with anything?
Glad I asked.
A few months ago, the boys and I saw this -
In hushed tones we all agreed we had to see this when it hit theaters.
My wife, as she often does, just shook her head.
My go-to line when explaining our collective excitement over a clearly B-movie was "I just want to see Jason Statham punch the giant shark in the nose."
More head shaking ensued.
So, on the Sunday morning of release weekend, the Wonder Twins and I headed to the local cinema, grabbed some popcorn and Cokes and settled in for The Meg
My expectations were not very high.
You know what? It was every bit the stupid fun monster movie we all hoped it would be.
Statham plays a disgraced deep sea diver boozing it up in Thailand after he swore a something really big damaged a sub he was rescuing. No word on whether he ran into Tong Po.
Statham (I'm sure his character had a name, but I don't remember it) is coaxed out of retirement to save his ex-wife who is trapped in a deep sea sub at the bottom of the Marianas Trench (I think) and being hunted by something really big.
Look, I really don't need to set this up any more than that.
There's a big shark. There's a bald bad ass. In the end there can be only one.
Statham doesn't punch the Meg in the nose, but he came really close.
The movie suffered from it's PG-13 rating. More people should have met their bloody demise at the Meg's hand...I mean fin.
The older the boys get, the harder it becomes to find things we can agree on...on all fronts. The generation gap is widening. That's not to say we don't still have fun, but I don't always get what they are into and they don't always want to watch my "old stuff."
So, it was a lot of fun to have this movie waiting as summer drew to close as a way for us to go out and bond for a little while.
No, The Meg
isn't going to win any Oscars. Hell, it might even win a few Razzies, but on that Sunday morning it was the only movie in town for us.
And for that The Meg
will always hold a special place in my heart.
But I'm still not going back in the water.