(Cue the celebratory music.)
(Bring up the lights)
(Begin the slow clap)
I gotta tip the hat to you. You’ve managed to pull it off. You’ve legitimized some real shitbag behavior and even managed to get some of the haters to quit calling you on your shitbag behaviors.
By making the technically true point that anyone who sells something for more than they spent is a flipper, you’ve eeked out a little breathing room in that shitbag world you live in. You even have shitbag defenders who bag on the “Funko elite’ (everyone who’s not a shitbag) for bagging on you.
So…bravo, shitbags! Take a celebratory lap into the nearest lake and drown.
(cut the music)
Clearly, I’m not a fan of flippers.
There was a Supreme Court Justice (Potter Stewart, BTW) who famously described his threshold for obscenity as ‘I know it when I see it.’ I’ve always thought the same of ‘flipping’, or reselling your toys for big bucks.
So what am I looking for before I call you a shitbag?
There is a valid point to be made that any of us who have sold something for a profit are technically flipping. But technical flipping isn’t anywhere close to being the same thing as shitbag flipping. I believe that most people are like me. Our collecting style is more ‘catch and release’ than ‘Hoarders’. We have money set aside specifically for toys and that pile of money is funded by selling things to pay for other things. We buy at market price and we sell at market price. We all hope that we make a little money as we go, but we’re pretty realistic about the overall value of our toys…more than likely they will end up being worth far less than we paid for them.
Do I call these people flippers? No. Most of them I call collectors or friends.
What about Day-Flippers, who get off on buying and selling and trading? If it wasn’t Funko, it would be Disneyana, used cars, houses, anything of value. Personally, I think they’re more like gamblers than collectors, but, you know, semantics. As long as there’s a deal to be made, there they are. "Are you selling your collection? What’s the best price you can do? How about if I threw in my sister?" I’m pretty sure most of them are slowly going broke. They’ll collect until they get bored and move on. And then back in. And then out again. How do you spot them? Watch for the ‘getting out of the game’ sales followed by the ‘getting back in the game’ posts.
Are they flippers? Absolutely! But I’ve met several and they’re kind of fun, too. More than once they’ve helped me out.
Which leaves us with shitbags.
These are the people who wipe out a store’s inventory and resell at four times the price.
These are the people who circumvent the ‘one per customer’ limits on websites so they have multiples to resell.
These are the people who enter contests and go to events with the stated purpose of getting something to resell.
These are the people who bring their disabled family members to cut lines and get handouts to resell.
These are the people who knocked over other people, or flat out stole, to get protos at Fundays to resell.
These are the people who suck the fun out of the hobby.
Truth be told, I should just let sleeping dogs lie and move on. Life is too short to worry about crap-weasels. But I do enjoy collecting Funko, and these guys are a drag on my happy time. I collect to relax. I collect for fun. Please don't ruin my fun.
Now, I’ve been called a ton of names for calling out shitbags. No biggie, it is what it is. If you're going to do, let me warn you in advance that I don’t buy into the whole ‘I’m free to do what I want, you have no right to judge, so keep your mouth shut’ argument that so many of you are fond of. It is incredibly childish and completely bullshit. If you have the right to do as you please, then I have the right to think as I please. And since you’ve elected to do as you please in the public square (so to speak) then I can express my feelings in the public square (so to speak). To live under the impression that others WON’T call you a shitbag for doing shitbag things is to acknowledge that your parents f**ked up and that you were most likely raised by television. Probably the CW.
Some call it entitled, I call it immature.
Grow up. You’re being a douche you stupid shitbag.
(Kill the lights)