This week: Jin & Sun, Past, Present & Future in "Ji Yeon".
LOST, Episode 4.07
A. Not one episode
ago, the Kwons were still playing telephone to share information with the group
because Jin didn’t know English for “they went into the jungle.” Now he’s
ready to be on the Beach Debate Team.
B. I should
have known that it was a double-flash (back AND forward) when Jin was back to
the “are you satisfied with your car insurance?” haircut. No way he’d
willingly go back to that after rocking the Jin Of The Jungle tussled look.
Oh, plus he wouldn’t need a job or a cab or a giant-ass cellphone after he got a
chunk of change from that Oceanic Six settlement, thus it would have to be in
the past. But mostly the hair.
C. Given the
number of ludicrous things that happen on this show (Smoky, Richard Alpert’s
perpetual youth, Locke walking, Rose not having cancer, Mikhail, etc.), I would
appreciate if they DIDN’T strive for realism in depicting childbirth.
Seriously, clean that baby up before we get a look at it.
- You have to
respect Hurley for being consistent. He lands on the Island overweight with long
hair and facial hair that perpetually threatens to be a beard. He lives
for months on that Island, still sporting long hair and still threatening to
grow that beard out. Now he’s off the island, shopping at the Men’s Big &
Tall and refusing to acknowledge that razors have been invented. I know we
all love Penny, but next time Desmond goes batshit time-crazy and needs someone
to hold his world together, Hurley is about as Constant as they come.
More Things Change, The More People Sit On The Beach Waiting For Help
A. When did
Kate suddenly became Chatty Cathy? It used to be that someone couldn’t ask
her what she had for breakfast without her becoming a flight risk. Every
question Jack or anyone else asked got the same “should I tell them or just stab
them and run away?” face, and now she’s dropping details like Sun is a Korean,
pregnant, stuck-on-an-Island Oprah. And then she’s all like, “I have
to tell Jack about this,” like it’s normal, despite the fact that she only
shares information with the guy when she’s trying to cock-block Juliet.
Either way, thanks for that, Charlotte and/or Sawyer - whether it was the pistol
whip or the sex, it’s working out for her.
gotta feel for Daniel a little bit. Everybody on the beach is afraid of
Charlotte, so they keep coming to the wimpy scientist guy to ask if they will
get rescued. He’s running out of ways to say “um, not really.”
C. Are they still
getting Dharma food drops? The bamboo pantry looks awfully well-stocked
for a group of 40-something people (and one Hurley) living for a couple of
months. You can’t tell me that any one of these people is good at keeping
rations, because they’ve all demonstrated a distinct inability to share
D. You can tell
why Juliet is a leader in her field - that stellar bedside manner and keen sense
of doctor-patient privilege. There’s something very soothing about having
the only two people on the Island who’ve seen your vagina have a discussion
about your extramarital activities. It’s starting to become clear why
Juliet’s best job offer involved a submarine and Ben’s hand in marriage.
Also, way to blow the opportunity - if the secret affair was your bargaining
chip with Sun, you threw it on the table way too early. There are much
easier ways to get people to not do things, and the first option on your list
should go something like this: “Fucking Smoke Monster.”
E. “Hi, I’m
Bernard, and I’ll be your plot device this evening. Our specials are...”
‘Nards has been catching some My Name Is Earl reruns in the Pearl Station since
he’s been hibernating for the past five episodes.
Widmore Middle School...Excuse Me, I Mean The Freighter
Regina the person who answered the phone when George couldn’t? Should the
crew be concerned that both their communications officer and their de-facto
communications officer went off the deep end (ha, pun)? And is it more
concerning that her book was upside-down, or that it being upside-down didn’t
seem to deter her at all? I don’t think you need to try that hard to look
smart on this boat, ma’am. A shirt with sleeves seems to do the trick.
B. I’m about
three episodes late to the dance on this one, but there’s something strange
about Desmond and Sayid being the two guys who rode to the boat with Captain
Ron. I guess the pre-req for getting in the helicopter is ponytail-length
hair and a full beard. Why hasn’t either of them shaved or showered since
getting on the boat? Do they have their hearts set on starting a Bee Gees
tribute act once they get to freedom? Also, with Faraday previously
rocking the beard-and-long-hair look, and Future Jack rocking the beard (since
it’s obvious at this point that his hair never grows), and Future Hurley
maintaining the pseudo-beard long after getting off the Island, is excessive
hair a key to unlocking the mysteries of this show? I vote yes.
C. Michael or no
Michael, finding out who slipped them the note through the door would have been
a tough task given how many people seem to have ulterior motives or other
personal things going on. Luckily, a simple handwriting test would have
solved the issue. Who writes - excuse me, scrawls - in jagged capital
letters? That note looked like somebody wrote it with their foot.
D. Desmond didn’t
seem interested in pushing the Charles Widmore issue. I mean, guy who
hated your guts, wouldn’t let you marry his daughter, scheduled the race around
the world that got you stranded on the Island to begin with, etc., and you
didn’t need a follow-up question?
E. I’m sure that
everyone on the Island will be thrilled to find out that the previous three
months of living their life tortured on a can’t-be-found mystery Island are a
result of some rich-kid bitchfight.