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Rey Swanko's Lucha Lounge:  The Oscaring

Hola 'Migos!


Have you missed me?  I have been aways for some very long times.  But now I am returned from my tour of Japan giving the advices.  As a Luchador, I have toured the Japans many times.  As the Swankador, this was my first.  And let me tell you ‘migos mio...the Japaneses...they are the pervy-wervys.  Most of their askings was to get love stains out of the latex.


So I sees I am just in times for Oscaring season.  The fat one, his first ask of me is if I want to pick the winners.  I tells him, I no pick the winners...that is how you go to blind.  The fat one, he does not think this is the funny.  He does not have the senses of humor that we has ‘migos.  Mebbe if he losed the weights.


And the Oscaring goes to:


Best Supporting Actress-


This is a thing?  Do not be getting me wrongs, I love the womens and the womens loves me, but nobodys watches a movies for the second underwomens.  They hardlys go to sees the head  womens.  Excepting for me, who loves the heads womens.  But the fat one, he say I has to Oscar somebody, so I picks the Irma Scorn for the Bugman’s movie.  I was so sad to see her dies at ends of the ends of Amazing Bugman, Too.  


Best Supporting Actor-


Interesting choices, aqui, ‘migos.  Another peoples from the Bugman movies.  I like JK Rowlings from being the Bugman’s newspaper boss, but I also likes the wrestleman movie with the officeman, Steve Cartel.  I think mebbe I will Oscar the Mike Eruzione from the wrestleman movie.  He was also the better Hulkster than the other Honemooners guy, Ed Norton.


Best Actress-


I am not ascared to admitted I have not seen these movies.  I have seen more of the Julian lady in The Biggest Lebowski, if you knows what I am meaning.  So I am thinking mebbe I should be Oscaring her.  But I have also seen the Girls Gone Wild, and as much as I would like to be ‘giving the Oscar’ to one of thems, I can picks only one.  So I Oscar the girl from the date movie, Roustabout Pine.


Best Actor -


I am tolds that this is a toss off betweens the Phil Cooper and the Bugman, Buster Keaton.  But, I am thinking mebbe this is not a true thing.  The wrestleman man is also wanting to be Oscared.  And the beep, beep wheeliechairman from The Biggest Bangers.  And Bendmydick Combhersnatch, who plays the great Sherlocks Newman Khan on Elementals with the Lucy Clueless.  I likes all of these peoples.  I think mebbe I will Oscar the Hangoverman, but onlys if he sings the Best ‘Migos song.


Best Picture-


You know ‘migos.  I have noticed some things.  Hollywoods is always lates about the rightness of things.  Last years, all the Oscaring was for the colorful peoples. This years, nones.  They have, how you say, fix-ed the glitches.  Cepting for a favor for the Oprahs,  all of the peoples are uncolors.  Bien, Hollywoods.  You should be most prouds.  


I look at the movies and I do not sees a favorite, but I think mebbe I know how the Hollywoods peoples like to think.  They have alreadys Oscared the gaysexuals, so Boyfriends will not be Oscared. The same is also trues for the The Big Bang Theory of Everythings.  My Club Foot already wins for the handilycapped.  Bendmydick has alreadys made the movie about decoding and releasing the Nazi e-mails in the Fifth Elementary, so no Oscaring for him.  Whiplashed and The Great Western of Bucarest...stayed there, felted that.   


So who will be Oscared?   Patty and Selma,will not be Oscared because it is about the black peoples and this is not the race to win.  American Snapper will not be Oscared because it has only the right wings and birds and movies needs both wings to fly.  Which leaves...Bugman.  


Oscaring for the Bugman!


Muchas gracias to the Gonzogeeks for having me backs for the picks, and later, the advices.


Sees you in the laughing papers.


Adios!


Posted in: Entertainment
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