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Oscars 2014:  Best Supporting Actress

The Academy Awards are Sunday, so it's time for the annual predictions from the revered GonzoGeek panel: Bruce, Chris, John, Hunter, David Cantu of Cinema Deviant, film critic Randall Yelverton, Rey Swanko and Bruce’s copy of WWE 13 for Xbox 360

Today: Best Supporting Actress

The Nominees: 

  • Sally Hawkins, Blue Jasmine (40/1)
  • Jennifer Lawrence, American Hustle (5/4)
  • Lupita Nyong'o, 12 Years a Slave (4/7)
  • Julia Roberts, August:  Osage County (40/1)
  • June Squibb, Nebraska (33/1) 

Odds provided by Bovada (formerly Bodog),

CHRIS

Hater-ism, or even humor, at the expense of Miss Jennifer Lawrence is so misguided that it can only be based in insecurities on the part of the hater/joker so deep that they have yet to be fully charted and categorized by medical science. Her performance in this role is transformative, displaying talent so prodigious there is simply no way the Academy can let it go unrewarded, even with her having won for Silver Linings just last year. Well on her way to be being her generation’s greatest actress.

Winner: Lawrence

JOHN

 Jennifer Lawrence appears to be the flavor of the month in Hollywood, and she won the Golden Globe in this category. She wins a statue for the second straight year, then celebrates by shooting it with a flaming arrow. 

HUNTER

LUPITA NYONG'O - This one hurts me a little. J LAW is my GIRL! I love her. So does everyone else. She's literally America's Sweetheart. Her win last year for Silver Linings Playbook was highly expected and much deserved (that's not to say that if she won for American Hustle that it WOULDN'T be expected and deserved). But I think the problem here is overexposure. If she wins two Oscars two years in a row at her age, there will be a horrible backlash against her. Plus, the Academy always likes to surprise people by giving an Oscar to a relative newcomer. This year, I think that it's Nyong'o for her performance in 12 Years A Slave.

BRUCE

I didn't see Nebraska or August:  Osage County, but I don't think that's going to matter much in my decision making process.  Sally Hawkins was great in Blue Jasmine.  Jennifer Lawrence chewed the scenery in every frame of American Hustle she was in.  Then there's Lupita Nyong'o.  Her's was the most riveting and the most painful performance in 12 Years a Slave.  It was a haunting reminder of an ugly part of our collective history and for that I think she wins here.

LUPITA NYONG'O

DAVID

Lupita Nyong'o

I’m not really a fan of any of the other performances in this category and I honestly haven’t even got around to seeing 12 Years A Slave but she’s the newcomer of the bunch so that makes me want to root for her. Everyone around me has told me that the film is pretty intense and the things her character goes through are cringe worthy so to me that’s more than enough reason for her to be the breakout winner in this category.

RANDALL

Lupita Nyong'o       

REY SWANKO

Hola ‘Migos!   

The Gonzogeeks have come to me and say ‘Hey, Rey.  How’d you like to be a bigger part of the team?’  And I reminds them that the last times they asks me that, they gave me the underwears t-shirt and makes me run with the zombies.  

I have hates them ever since.

But, my revolution for the Nuevo Ano is to make nice with the liars, so here are my Oscareds.

June Squibbles - No.  I do not likes the ‘Nebraska’ or any of the rest of the middle-westies so no, not Oscared.

Lubica Ngano - How can you gives the award to someone who you can’t pronounces? Not Oscared.

Sally Fields - I did nots recognize the Flying Gidgets.  And the ‘Amazing Spidey-man’ movie comes out last year and this summers.  How was she Mebee Oscared?  

Julie Robertson - I do not watch the ‘Dysentery of the Duckies’ so there you goes. Not Oscared.

Winner - Jennifer Hudson! - The Weight Watches makes her the skinny-minny and the sexy-mexy.  She is so good at making the movies that I forets she is muy caliente.  Bravo! Oscared!  

WWE 13

We've got Julia Roberts and Sally Hawkins both going off at 40/1.  Ms. Hawkins' turn as Woody Allen's Stella was excellent, but Ms. Roberts is easier to map to WWE 13, so Ms. Hawkins is out.

Jennifer Lawrence - made her bones in some sketchy early projects (Bill Engvall Show) and got noticed for her indy work (Winter's Bone).  Became a worldwide phenomenon when she blew up the Game...CM PUNK

Lupita Nyong'o - held down by the established system even though she was the company's best worker...DANIEL BRYAN

Julia Roberts - began career as the younger sibling of a more established star.  Has won the big one only once.  Hollywood's Big Red Machine...KANE

June Squibb - Established journey(wo)man found a way to excel late in her career to make it to the top...EDDIE GUERRERO

For some reason, WWE 13 decides these matches are going to be no DQ.  Somehow I like how that equates to Hollywood's annual Oscar campaigning.  The bell rings and we are underway.  Jennifer Lawrence locks up with Julia Roberts in a battle of America's Sweethearts.  On the other side of the ring, Lupita Nyong'o goes after June Squibb.  After some initial jockeying, things quickly head to the outside.  Julia Roberts runs Jennifer Lawrence into the ring post.  Squibb performs a Nebraskacanrana on Nyong'o that rings her bell.  Surprisingly, the two initial parings continue to battle for the entirety of the match.  At 2:45, Lupita locks her Mutilation submission hold on June, but Squibb manages to break the hold.  Things go outside again and at the five minute mark, and almost concurrently, Lupita puts June through a barricade while Julia does the same to Jennifer.  Everyone slowly makes it back into the ring.  At 7:31, Lupita finishes off June after a flying elbow drop from the top rope.  Seconds later, Julia Roberts remains America's Last Sweetheart Standing when she pins Jennifer Lawrence after a chokeslam.  The Big Red Machine turns around into Lupita's Mutilation right in the center of the ring.  After an excruciating 30 seconds of overacting, Roberts submits.

WINNER:  LUPITA NYONG'O

Posted in: Movies
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