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Rey Swanko: Ask a Luchador - December

Hola ‘Migos!

Ahhh…Feliz Navi-annukkah!  Are you enjoyings the holiday like me are? I do not sees you on the beaches with a drink in su mano and a swakette in su lap, so I am thinkings the answer is no.  Too bad for tu.

On with the advices.  


Hey, Rey!  How do you approach Black Friday? – Sam

I usually drink lots of the waters, orders the takeouts and watch ‘Cleopatra Jones’ and ‘Foxy Brown’  overs and overs again (Pam Griers is an underateds hot-tractive).  Then, when the clock strikes the midnights, I send my sweet chocolate swankette home, stock up on the squeezie Parkay and make the plans for Ginger Weekend and Brazilian Monday.  It is parts of my 12 Womens of Navi-annukkah routines. 

Hmm…now that I am watching the news, I think mebees we are not talkings about the same things. 

I think mebee I like my plans butter.


Rey-bo!  IHOP or Waffle House? – Ronald

The IHOPS.  Swankadors are nevers the waffle peoples.  They are uncleans.


So Rey, now that the new TV season is underway, what shows are you watching? – Les

You know, I am a very busy Swankador, but there are many shows that I enjoy to watch.  I think my favorite show is that one with the gordo married to the hot-tractive wife with the smarty-pants kiddie-childrens.  Or mebee that one show with the young amigos who sits around all the days and not have the jobs.  Or mebee I likes the murder shows where they solve the crimes with their glow lights and magic crime sticks.  Sometimes I like the shows with the young amigos who sit around with their hot-tractive wives and make the murders before solving them with their crime wands and glow sticks and the tech-musica and the Estacy and the dancing and the Swankettes and the rubbings and huggings and the sweating and...and...

...and what was the questions?


Hey Rey! Basketball season’s just kicking off – who you watching? – Kobe

Porn.


Blondes or Brunettes, Mr. Swankador? – Marilyn

You know that haircuts, the mullets?  I like my womens to be like the mullet.  More funs on the top, all business down belows.

 

Rey.  With all those years taking shots to the head in the ring are you worried about concussion syndrome? – Bret

A long times ago, when I was just a tee-tiny Swankador, a great luchador that I dares not mentions so not to sound like the presumpturer (Santo), tole me one night after getting his head hit in with a chair:

Rey, I do what I do not for me, but for the peoples.  The peoples and the honor of the mascara!  The mascara and the lip gloss.  The lip gloss and that pig over there.  Here piggy, piggy, piggy.  Rey, let’s eat this pig, just bacon you and me.   BEGGGIN!!  Grufflebunny poi!  Herry puggy, poggy spog!  Biggie piggy market! HOOOO!

So no, I’m not concerns.

And with that, I am once agains all out of letters.   The Gonzogeeks, they cheap out on the postages and not send me much to work withs.

Adios ‘Migos!  And Feliz Navi-annukkah!

HOOOOOO!

Oh… I almost forgets my manner and my drinks!

Tequila Navi-annukkah (My own recipe)

1 ½ oz Tequila

½ oz Lemon Juice

¼ teaspoon Grenadine

Dash Angostura Bitters

 

Mix alltogethers in a shaker and pour into a glass.  Add ice and felicidad.

Posted in: Gonzo
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