Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: All right, dude. We're from the future. Sorry.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 15
Follow The Leader
I. The Part Where Richard Looks To Be In His Early 40s And Helps Some Of The Castaways Pursue Their Definition Of Destiny.
A. For all the Kate mockery over the past several seasons, I totally get it now. If the reason she was kept around this long was just to deliver that look after Jack admitted they were with Faraday, then everything that Jack wants to erase was worth i...
James "Sawyer/LaFleur" Ford: Whatever her reason is, helping H.G. Wells here talk to his mommy ain't got nothing to do with it.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 14
I. The Manchurian Physicist
A. "Hey, sorry guys, my mom says I'm too smart to take piano lessons any more. What's that? My lunch money? No, I packed a...oh dear."
B. Seriously if Ma Faraday's "destiny" is to help her son hone his mind to be as sharp as possible, then she has a poor understanding of the college admiss...
This week: When you heard the title was "Some Like It Hoth," you probably had a pretty good idea of how the episode was going to go. You were mostly right.
Miles Straume: Third day we were here, I was on line at the cafeteria and my mother got in line behind me. That was my first clue.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 13
Some Like It Hoth
I. M. Night ShymaLOST
A. Maybe we don't see Miles' power that often because he still doesn't quite know how to harness it? Sometimes he need...
This week: "Dead is Dead" (the phrase, not the episode) might be the biggest sack of shit they've ever tried to feed us. They may as well have called this one "No Seriously, Walt Is Old Because Time Travel" or "Jack Is A Reasonable Man" or "Different Haircut = Different Ages!!!".
John Locke: ...then I'm sure the monster will understand.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 12
Dead Is Dead
I. Ben Sans Innocence Means Less Sandwiches And Longing, More Attempted Murder
A. Well naturally, because W...
This week: The group has a hard time coming to terms with the fact that "Whatever Happened, Happened".
Roger Linus: LaFleur asked me where my keys were. That bastard doesn't ask any questions he doesn't already know the answers to.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 11
Whatever Happened, Happened
I. In Which Kate Learns That The Movie "Parenthood" Is Not A Training Video
A. If his latest turn as LaFleur doesn't give you enough respect for Sawyer (his hangup on fake names notwithstanding),...
This week: It takes a whole episode of manufactured tension for Sayid to finally do what he was born to do in "He's Our You".
James "Sawyer" Ford: Three years, no burning buses. Ya'll are back for one day...
LOST, Season 5, Episode 10
He's Our You
I. The One Where Sayid Has A Flashback Episode That Makes Me Wish I Was Watching A Kate Flashback Episode
A. First of all, I'm not buying any misdirection on whether or not Sayid was once a good person, even if the kids from Slumdog Milli...
This week: Say "Namaste" to the returning castaways as Kate puts the "drama" in "Dharma"...or something. Kate's stupid, that's my point.
Christian Shephard: I'm sorry, but you have a bit of a journey ahead of you.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 9
I. The Re-Made Fantasy Island, The One Where Malcom McDowell Had Just Started To Urinate On His Career And Character Development Was Replaced By Low-Budget CGI
A. If you're a pilot and a fellow pilot walks up to you and says "Hi, my n...
This week: In-jokes, awkward pauses and plot development abound as Sawyer & co. get stuck in the Wayback Machine
Miles Straume: We don't get involved, right? That's what you said?
Daniel Faraday: It doesn't matter what we do. Whatever happened, happened.
James "Sawyer" Ford: Yeah, thanks anyway, Plato.
LOST, Season 5, Episode 8
I. Stuck In The 70s, Like Life On Mars, But With Actual Viewers
A. I know it's hard to keep track of three-years-an...
This week: The Life And Death Of Jeremy Bentham proves that black people are incredibly death-prone in the LOST-verse, and that Jack and Kate are douchebags in the past, the present and now the future. But we already knew that.
John Locke: I promise you, I'm very much alive.
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: Hey Susie, am I talking to a dude in a wheelchair right now?
Hugo "Hurley" Reyes: Whoa, dude!
LOST, Season 5, Episode 7
The Life And Death OF Jeremy Bentham
What do you get when you combine Houston hipster hangouts, wannabe MILFs, barstools, and low-rise jeans? Some of the best crack in the land. I particularly admire the lack of anything -- even a thong -- obscuring the view. That's how you can tell we're dealing with a real woman here, not some just-legal still-exploring college thing.
My wife and I eventually got back to enjoying our food and drink (both very good and reasonably priced, especially at happy hour) in time to get to the main even...