Ding dong! The witch is dead (That’s not to say that The Mayor of Parts Unknown is a witch [He happens to be a very nice fellow {but you’ve gotta watch out for an occasional heel turn <or burst of fighting spirit>}])! After a five week chokehold (Cobra Clutch or Million Dollar Dream if you will) on first place, The Mayor has been knocked down a notch. I know that I’ve discussed how crazy this year has been several times throughout the first half of the NFL season, but allow me to use myself as a great example. After Week One, I was tied for first place. After Week Two, I was tied for LAST place. Then, I progressively moved up the ladder from last to fourth to third to second and FINALLY! to first place. And all of that happened over the course of a mere EIGHT WEEKS! As crazy as that has been, there have been some constants. Each of us has consistently picked one team to win every game every week thus far. Stephe has not only always picked AGAINST the Patriots,but also picked Peyton Manning and the Broncos to win every game this season.For Bruce, it’s his hometown Texans. I’ve consistently picked the Titans. Chris has backed the defending Super Bowl Champions, the New York Football Giants while The Mayor of Parts Unknown has come to the conclusion that the Vikings will always win….by berzerkery. The Atlanta Falcons have consistently won every game, but recent years have shown us that the team with the most regular season wins cannot translate that into an NFL Championship (I’m lookin at you 19-1 Patriots! [I will also admit that the 2008 Titans had a league-best 13 wins before getting dumped out in the Divisional Round}). Having said that, I am currently in first place with 70 points. The Mayor is a single solitary point behind at 69 (giggity). Stephe is in third place with 66.5 (I’m still waiting for that half point to come back and haunt me). After two very impressive weeks by Bruce, he has 65 points while Chris trails with 59.
SPOTLIGHT GAME: MIAMIDOLPHINS VS. INDIANAPOLIS COLTS
HUNTER: If the playoffs started today, you’d be looking at the two Wildcard teams in the AFC. Both of them rocking rookie quarterbacks. Andrew Luck and Ryan Tannehill are the ONLY rookie QB’s with winning records(Sorry RG3, but the rest of your team ain’t carrying their load). I’ve heard tale that these two kids can play. Andrew Luck has done a wonderful job of leading the previously 2-14 Colts to double their win total from a year ago,and it wasn’t all just good fortune (get it?! Good fortune…Luck? Eh eh eh?) If Tannehill can play, things may go differently, but that question mark makes me say otherwise. PICK: COLTS
BRUCE: Not too long ago this would have been one of your marquee games. This year, it features a pair of teams who are doing suprisingly well. Hard Knocks would have had you believe the Dolphins were far from this position. HBO lies. Gimme the fish. PICK: DOLPHINS
STEPHE: PICK: DOLPHINS
CHRIS: The battle of two teams no-one really expected to be good but are anyway. Also a battle of two rookie quarterbacks (if Tannehill can go). As it so often turns out, however, the team that can best run the ball and defend against the run will win, and I believe that team will be the Dolphins. PICK: DOLPHINS
MAYOR: This week's featured match up challenges the MES like never before. Luckily we have a binder full of ... simulations (what? what did you expect me to say?) for just such occasions. The Dolphin may seem like the least intimidating mascot in the entire NFL aside from the Browns... but it's also the most intelligent non-human mascot in the league. You might look at a dolphin and think "awwww, how sweet and cute." That's precisely what it WANTS you to think... before it attacks and bites your face off right through the eye hole of your mask!!!!!!
What?
Where am I?
Oh. Right. The picks. Fishman defeats Nate Webb (from Indianapolis)! PICK: DOLPHINS by a fin
REST OF THE PICKS
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS VS. SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
HUNTER: CHARGERS
BRUCE: CHARGERS
STEPHE: CHARGERS
CHRIS: CHARGERS
MAYOR: CHARGERS by blitzkrieg
DENVER BRONCOS VS. CINCINNATI BENGALS
HUNTER: BRONCOS
BRUCE: BRONCOS
STEPHE: BRONCOS
CHRIS: BRONCOS
MAYOR: BRONCOS by head kick
BALTIMORE RAVENS VS. CLEVELAND BROWNS
HUNTER: RAVENS
BRUCE: RAVENS
STEPHE: RAVENS
CHRIS: RAVENS
MAYOR: RAVENS by 2 Nevermores
ARIZONA CARDINALS VS. GREEN BAY PACKERS
HUNTER: PACKERS
BRUCE: PACKERS
STEPHE: PACKERS
CHRIS: PACKERS
MAYOR: PACKERS by time and a half
BUFFALO BILLS VS. HOUSTON TEXANS
HUNTER: TEXANS
BRUCE: TEXANS
STEPHE: TEXANS
CHRIS: TEXANS
MAYOR: TEXANS by shooting into extinction (history repeats itself)
DETROIT LIONS VS. JACKSONVILLE JAGUARS
HUNTER: LIONS
BRUCE: LIONS
STEPHE: LIONS
CHRIS: LIONS
MAYOR: LIONS in a catfight
CHICAGO BEARS VS. TENNESSEE TITANS
HUNTER: Oh how different things might have been for Tennessee if they had only selected local Vanderbilt QB Jay Cutler in the 2006 NFL Draft instead of eventual crazy person Vince Young. Who knew that between Young, Leinart and Cutler, Jay is the only one that still starts at quarterback. TITANS
BRUCE: BEARS
STEPHE: BEARS
CHRIS: BEARS
MAYOR: BEARS by devouring (gotta carb load before hibernation season... or, as Chicago fans call it, the playoffs)
CAROLINA PANTHERS VS. WASHINGTON REDSKINS
HUNTER: REDSKINS
BRUCE: Cam v. RG3? Last year's flavor v. this year's flavor? REDSKINS
STEPHE: REDSKINS
CHRIS: REDSKINS
MAYOR: REDSKINS by ambush
TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS VS. OAKLAND RAIDERS
HUNTER: RAIDERS
BRUCE: BUCS
STEPHE: Avast me timbers! BUCS
CHRIS: BUCS
MAYOR: BUCS by a yarrrrrrd
MINNESOTA VIKINGS VS. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
HUNTER: VIKINGS
BRUCE: VIKINGS
STEPHE: SEAHAWKS
CHRIS: VIKINGS
MAYOR: VIKINGS by berzerkery
PITTSBURGH STEELERS VS. NEW YORK GIANTS
HUNTER: GIANTS
BRUCE: GIANTS
STEPHE: GIANTS
CHRIS: GIANTS
MAYOR: GIANTS by fee fi fo
DALLAS COWBOYS VS. ATLANTA FALCONS
HUNTER: The Falcons will eventually lose, but not today. FALCONS
BRUCE: Falcons remain undefeated? Looks that way. FALCONS
STEPHE: FALCONS
CHRIS: Jerry Jones remains blissfully oblivious. FALCONS
MAYOR: COWBOYS by shooting their guns in the air and downing said Falcons (what? they can't all be pithy)
PHILADELPHIA EAGLESVS. NEW ORLEANS SAINTS
HUNTER: SAINTS
BRUCE: SAINTS
STEPHE: SAINTS
CHRIS: SAINTS
MAYOR: SAINTS by marching
]