As a third of the season is behind us, the league begins to take a type of shape (amoeba-esque is a shape, right?). Every time that a team looks like world beaters, they lose. Every time that a team looks like they are about to set up shop in the cellar, the produce a staggering blow out. This season, more than any other in recent history, isn’t following any type of pattern. Stalwarts of the league like Peyton Manning and Drew Brees only have three wins between them. The Houston Texans have more wins than the rest of the teams in their division COMBINED. The usually much maligned NFC West has all four teams above .500 including the 4-1 Arizona Cardinals. And I have only gotten ONE Spotlight Game correct all season, and that was last week’s Manning/Brady showdown when I properly prognosticated the Patriots victory.
Finally, all of the ties are broken. A clear pecking order has been set, and still atop that pile is The Mayor of Parts Unknown with 48 after a 10 point week five. Stephe holds second place with 43.5, but after scratching and clawing my way back out of last place, I’m only a fraction of a point behind with 43. Bruce is in fourth place with 41, and Chris is holding down the fort in fifth place with 36, but as we’ve seen time and time again this season,anything can happen.
SPOTLIGHT GAME: NEW YORK GIANTS VS. SAN FRANCISCO 49ERS
HUNTER: The spotlight game has made its way back to the NFC this week with two of the better records in the conference. Eli and the Giants are still searching for their first trademark victory of the season after a disappointing loss to the Cowboys on the opening night of the season. After a week three hiccup in Minnesota, the 49ers have been dominant the last two weeks, outscoring their opponents 79-3. Frank Gore continues his dominance on the ground as the Niners make it 5-1. PICK: 49ERS
BRUCE: GOOD GAME at a pivot point in the season. You never know what you're going to get from Eli from week to week and this isn't the playoffs. I still think SF is the team to beat in the NFC so I'm going with them again. PICK: 49ERS
STEPHE: PICK: 49ERS
CHRIS: Eli Manning and his receivers versus the 49ers defense and ground game: which will prevail? SF will be looking to avenge last season’s playoff loss, with Tom Coughlin already playing the ‘no respect’ chip to try to get Big Blue fired up. I think 5 games in might have been a little early to whip that particular motivational tool out, but what’s done is done.The tipping factor will be Ahmad Bradshaw. If he can produce at even three-quarters of last weekend’s pace, keeping the Niners’ D honest in the process, the Giants should pull it off. I think he will. PICK: GIANTS
MAYOR: Six weeks in and the Mascot Evaluation System (MES) is a proven success. Official math by the Parts Unknown brain trust indicates a success rate of 95.4 percent by using this strategy to pick football winners (EDITOR'S NOTE: OFFICIAL PARTS UNKNOWN MATH IS NOT ACTUAL MATH.) This week,we're focusing on those Giants against the San Francisco 49ers. I remember a time when Andre the Giant was a worldwide draw, every time he came into a territory, he'd pack houses. Doesn't that have to make him one of the greatest wrestlers of all time? How can the 49ers hope to compete? Oh sure they've got their gold mines and pans and firearms and what not, but name me a prospector who has EVER sold out the Silverdome? Hmmm? PICK: GIANTS by more than 100 beers ina single sitting
REST OF THE PICKS
PITTSBURGH STEELERS VS. TENNESSEE TITANS
HUNTER: TITANS
BRUCE: STEELERS
STEPHE: STEELERS
CHRIS: STEELERS
MAYOR: TITANS by conquest
OAKLAND RAIDERS VS. ATLANTA FALCONS
HUNTER: FALCONS
BRUCE: FALCONS
STEPHE: FALCONS
CHRIS: FALCONS
MAYOR: RAIDERS by pillage
BALTIMORE RAVENS VS. DALLAS COWBOYS
HUNTER: RAVENS
BRUCE: RAVENS
STEPHE: RAVENS
CHRIS: RAVENS
MAYOR: COWBOYS by shooting their guns into the air,inadvertently hitting the Ravens and stumbling into a victory. This is heretofore to be known as "pulling a Romo."
CINCINNATI BENGALS VS. CLEVELAND BROWNS
HUNTER: BENGALS
BRUCE: BENGALS
STEPHE: BROWNS
CHRIS: BENGALS
MAYOR: BENGALS by devouring
ST. LOUIS RAMS VS. MIAMI DOLPHINS
HUNTER: RAMS
BRUCE: DOLPHINS
STEPHE: DOLPHINS
CHRIS: DOLPHINS
MAYOR: RAMS by head buttery
INDIANAPOLIS COLTS VS. NEW YORK JETS
HUNTER: COLTS
BRUCE: COLTS
STEPHE: COLTS
CHRIS: COLTS
MAYOR: JETS by Mach 3
DETROIT LIONS VS. PHILADELPHIA EAGLES
HUNTER: EAGLES
BRUCE: EAGLES
STEPHE: LIONS
CHRIS: EAGLES
MAYOR: EAGLES by ability to fly
KANSAS CITY CHIEFS VS. TAMPA BAY BUCCANEERS
HUNTER: The KC fans cheered when their starting QB got hurt.Things be gettin bad in Kansas City. They aren’t about to get better.BUCCANEERS
BRUCE: My pick for the worst game of the week. This one could just flat out suck, but somebody has to win. CHIEFS
STEPHE: Winning this week will be enough to keep everyoneemployed through the next two losses. CHIEFS
CHRIS: Even with the spectacularly awful Brady Quinn running things for Kansas City, they’ll still find a way to win. CHIEFS
MAYOR: BUCCANEERS by 3 avasts
BUFFALO BILLS VS. ARIZONA CARDINALS
HUNTER: CARDINALS
BRUCE: CARDINALS
STEPHE: CARDINALS
CHRIS: BILLS
MAYOR: CARDINALS by bird flu
NEW ENGLAND PATRIOTS VS. SEATTLE SEAHAWKS
HUNTER: PATRIOTS
BRUCE: PATRIOTS
STEPHE: Again, gotta stay the course. Booo Patriots.SEAHAWKS
CHRIS: PATRIOTS
MAYOR: PATRIOTS by skirmish line
MINNESOTA VIKINGS VS. WASHINGTON REDSKINS
HUNTER: VIKINGS
BRUCE: VIKINGS
STEPHE: VIKINGS
CHRIS: REDSKINS
MAYOR: VIKINGS by berzerkery
GREEN BAY PACKERS VS. HOUSTON TEXANS
HUNTER: TEXANS
BRUCE: TEXANS
STEPHE: TEXANS
CHRIS: TEXANS
MAYOR: TEXANS via superior firepower
DENVER BRONCOS VS.SAN DIEGO CHARGERS
HUNTER: BRONCOS
BRUCE: CHARGERS
STEPHE: BRONCOS
CHRIS: CHARGERS
MAYOR: BRONCOS by stampede