I'll be honest, this wasn't how it was supposed to go.
I have a list on my desk with a general outline of who will be cheesecake each week. That list makes me smile. And, while not a Bible, per se, that list guides my weekly search.
So, earlier this week, whilst I was searching for the appropriate pictures of the list's selection, Julianne Hough, I made an unscheduled detour.
Or, I changed horses in mid-stream. It is, after all, the Addams way.
While there is nothing wrong with Ms. Hough, and I'm sure we'll feature her again at some point, after hearing her warble a ballady, Glee-d out version of Here I Go Again
in a trailer for Rock of Ages
, I realized that there could be only one choice this week.
Please say hello to Tawny Kitaen.
Really, who else do you think of when you hear Here I Go Again
? David Coverdale? Nope. Rudy Sarzo? Only if you're a lonely bass guitar.
Whitesnake may have recorded the song, but the song belongs to Ms. Kitaen.
Don't know what I'm talking about? Have a look.
You can say what you want about Whitesnake and/or 80s glam rock (and I'm sure Jibbies and/or Loond will), but those dudes sold a LOT
of records. Someone was buying them.
And while Ms. Kitaen is most famous for her turn as David Coverdale's muse, her time with Whitesnake wasn't her first foray into the Los Angeles scene. Her legs appeared on Ratt's 1983 self-titled debut EP
. She was also the girl on the cover of the band's debut album, Out of the Cellar
In David Lee Roth's less than coherent autobiography,Crazy From the Heat
, he claimed to have "known" Ms. Kitaen before her meteoric rise to video fame.
And, of course, like any Hollywood-adjacent "celebrity," Ms. Kitaen was also linked to athletes, most infamously OJ Simpson and her husband/abuse victim, Chuck Finley.
Ms. Kitaen calls herself an actress, but with a resume that includes "highlights" such as Gwendoline, Witchboard
and The New WKRP in Cincinnati
, I think we can all agree that's pushing it. Of course, she did wed a young Tom Hanks in the 80s cable classic Bachelor Party
, so I guess she's got that going for her.
Let's hit the links.
Speaking of Rock of Ages...who embarrases himself the most in that movie?
Chuck Klosterman takes over as NYT Ethicist
ANTERO SLEEPS – ‘Titan’ – Sci-Fi doom metal of the highest order (LISTEN HERE)
How the internet works. (Though still easier said than done).
Championship quality pole dancing to Down. [No nudity. It’s a real competition yo. But you should still check it out.]
Killswitch Engage’s Jesse Leach sounds good singing the Howard stuff.
Pizza vending machines to debut in the US.
Vettel teabags The Late Show
Car Boneyards: Before Williamsburg, Brooklyn, was cool.
20 GIFs of Kate Upton for her 20th birthday.
John Peel’s Record Collection: G is for Gallon Drunk
Muse – ‘The 2nd Law’ (album trailer)
Oh yes….Stephe will be getting these.
The one redeeming value of those crappy 80s cartoons.
And finally, beware the rise of the Bronies.