Let's be honest. When you've been an ongoing concern for as long as the Avengers, not every decision you make is going to be a good one. Sure, you defrosted Captain America, but you also thought giving Triathalon a key to the mansion was a good idea.
Like I said, they can't all be winners.
So, today, let's take a look at some of the Avengers' membership missteps.
THE FALCON
I want to get this one out of the way right off the bat. I have no problem with the Falcon. He's actually a pretty cool character with an interesting backstory. So why do I consider him one of the worst Avenger ever? Its not him, its how he got on the team. He didn't join through a membership offer or merit. No, he got assigned to the team to fill an affirmative action quota in Avengers 181 (yes - that one again). I'm not alone in my displeasure. The Falcon himself offered to change his codename to "The Token" when he found out about Gyrich's mandate.
SILVERCLAW
So, the Avengers' butler, Jarvis decides to use his position and connections to Tony Stark to sponsor an orphan in the third world country of Costa Verde. That's noble, but this being a comic book, Jarvis' orphan turns out to be the shapeshifting child of the Costa Verde volcano god. Seriously? Sally Struthers has been at this for decades and she's yet to turn up a shapeshifting demi-god. Whatever.
GILGAMESH
Do I really have to spell it out for you? Take a look at his hat. Was he taking costuming advice from
Razorback? You claim to be the hero of an epic poem and then you show up for rolecall with a cow skull on your head? Way to get yourself taken seriously. Of course, it was, possibly, an improvement over his previous
spa worker look.
DR. DRUID
Male pattern baldness is not something you generally look for in your superheroes. Dr. Druid began his career as a monster hunter. After years in limbo (creative not extradimensional), he appeared to aid the Avengers fight a demon and joined the team. Then, as is so often the case, he was mind-controlled by the Terminatrix and took control of the team, however briefly. His thrall was eventually exposed and he was banished to Limbo (extradimensional not creative) with the Terminatrix. Now, if that had been
Kristanna Loken it might not have been a bad fate. Instead it was
this chick. You make the call.
MOONDRAGON
Moondragon's biggest claim to fame was the smallest costume in Avengers' history. It was essentially a green version of the costume favored by Vampirella with a cape and high collar. She was also obsessed with the idea of being the "Celestial Madonna." Unfamiliar with that concept? The Madonna would mate with the eldest Coati on Earth and give birth to the Celestial Messiah - the most important being in the universe. Now, before you think this was a grand gesture, he's what a
Coati is. That's right, her big ambition was to get it on with a tree. Make your own
Evil Dead joke.
The Avengers opens in two weeks. Here is this week's new trailer. Enjoy.