Its that time of year again kids.
What? No, I didn't mean Thanksgiving.
I meant sweeps. You know those three times a year when network television tries to convince us all that it is still a viable medium despite the fact that they haven't proven it in years.
CSI a hit? Let's put one in every major city. Throw in the Navy version too.
Pre-teens like the idea of being the next Britney Spears? Let's dig up some 80s has-beens and put on a talent show...every night of the week.
Got a sitcom that's funny and smart?
No room for that. We've got a new Jason Alexander vehicle that we're sure people will love.
The news earlier this week that NBC is taking
Community off its schedule at mid-season to make room for a Chelsea Handler based replacement was just about the final nail in my television coffin this year.
Like
Arrested Development before it,
Community takes chances and doesn't have a problem being smart. Those are both liabilities in a world where
Rules of Engagement still has a timeslot.
This season has been the bleakest I can remember in a long time. There are several comedies that are almost funny.
New Girl, Up All Night and
Whitney jump to mind.
There are a lot of old warhorses who should be put down. All the hopes I had about
The Office taking advantage of James Spader's weird energy were immediately dashed when Andy Bernard was appointed Michael Scott 2.0.
The less said about the Ashton Kutcher experiment the better. The only way to put
Two and Half Men, and by extension America, out of its misery is to break the bank getting Molly Ringwald in a guest-arc as Alan's high school crush who he nearly lands before losing her to Walden. Alan hangs himself with "
If You Leave" playing in the background and we get one final snarky vanity card before they all go away for good.
I was intrigued by the idea of
Grimm, but three weeks in and its not doing anything that The X-Files didn't do first or better.
The one bright spot of the season for me has been 2
Broke Girls starring this week's cheesecake.
Say hello to
Kat Dennings.
The more popular of this season's two Whitney Cummings sitcoms,
2 Broke Girls was one of the first full season pick ups and a great deal of its success lies squarely at the apron of Ms. Dennings.
As Max, the snarky cupcake savant/diner waitress, she delivers the Whitney Cummings zingers better than Whitney does on her own sitcom.
Ms. Dennings was already on the fanboy radar thanks to her work in
Nick and Nora's Infinite Playlist. I have to admit to having never seen that movie because I had already reached my "Recommended Annual Amount of Michael Cera" in 2008. In fact, my first exposure to Ms. Dennings work was earlier this year when she tased the God of Thunder in
Thor.
Come to think of it, she is kinda the anti-Portman.
Of course, Ms. Dennings received some of the other kind of exposure late last year when some of her "personal" photos were leaked on the internet. I could put a link here, but you have to do some of the work for yourselves kids.
On to the links.
Pet + Hippo = No. Always. This guy is a candidate for the Darwin Awards.
Red Fang tour diary, Pt. 2
The Kraken as artist
Megadeth – LIVE! (full set, pro shot) – Sao Paulo, Brazil – Nov. 14, 2011
Drugs, burgers, cop cars, and hummers. All in an East Texas afternoon.
A liter of light.
Sex Pistols comic strip interview.
Eat the goat!
Faith No More – LIVE! (HQ, full set) – Bizarre Fest, Germany – 1997 (‘Like’ us on Facebook and find another complete FNM show there!)
Breaking up with Netflix.
Congress declares pizza a vegetable. God Bless America!
NEWT BOTTOM! BACHMANN BREAKER! PAUL-DRIVER! PERRY-PLEX! SWEET CAIN MUSIC! ROMNEY'S EDGE! The GOP as WWE.
Moustair respects the 'stache.
And finally, our own Matt gets internet famous at work thanks to Twitter and ESPN!
