Welcome to December kids.
As this year draws to an inexorable, horrific close, we've got more sex scandals, a President with a short fuse and a Twitter account, enemies at the gates and, as of today, plea bargains.
As 2017 continues to lead us to the burning ruins of Rome, and our republic is on the road to becoming the lands of have and have nots, I find myself more disappointed and disgusted each day by the people we've chosen to represent us.
Career politicians beholden to innumerable special interests line their pockets at the expense of their constituents and their souls.
It's gotten so bad that one of our own has decided to jump ship and join the monarchy.
That individual is this week's cheesecake.
Please say hello to Meghan Markle.
It was announced this week that Ms. Markle (not a Marvel hero), is engaged to one of the British princes. The ginger, not the bald one.
Ms. Markle is most famous for her role on USA's Suits
, a show for which I've seen hours of promos, but not a complete episode.
I have never understood this country's obsession with the British Royal Family.
We fought a war with England for our country's freedom, though given the fact that we've pretty much given up on the whole "taxation without representation" thing maybe it's time we give it back.
Maybe this is just part of England's long con. An American marries into the royal family, thus making her child an American/English citizen. In 30+ years this person could conceivably run for President while being in line for the British throne.
Take that Westeros.
Or The Omen
I'm not sure which.
Let's hit the links.
Flat-earther to launch self on scrap metal rocket
…but then again, maybe not
Eyehategod – LIVE! – The Outpost, Kent, Ohio – Aug. 31, 2017 [FULL SET]
25 Best Metal albums of 2017: Loudwire
Top Ramen hacks
The internet is dying a slow painful death
The failure of the network news star system
Angela Lansbury is pissed off at the internet
Kellyanne Conway is now in charge of fixing the opiod crisis
The executives that bankrupted Toys R Us want their yearly bonuses
Impact relents. Some version of Broken Matt Hardy likely on his way to WWE
Mad Max: Fury Road may be the best action movie of all time
And finally, HBO Sports and WWE are producing an Andre the Giant documentary